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I'm depressed

Discussion in 'Serious Business' started by Muzik Bike :D, Sep 30, 2014.

  1. Muzik Bike :D

    Muzik Bike :D Coloraze World Champion(nobody cares) Engineer

    Favorite Game:
    Coloraze
    This probably isn't the right section, but I really need to get this out, so it doesn't keep troubling me.

    I'm severely depressed.
    Everyone I talk to about it just shrugs it off as if it was false, because I haven't sucked up the courage to tell the complete truth until now.

    It all started on December 22, 2013. I was browsing the web while impatient for Christmas, and was mucking around with pokemon on knowyourmeme when I discovered something that left a pretty big *** mark in me.

    The Pokémon: Lost Silver creepypasta. The scariest one ever, for me at that point.
    It kinda shook me, since it was morning, but at that night I could barely sleep and woke up at 12am really sweaty and nauseous.

    That was just the start. My ever so stupid mind wanted to suffer more, so I searched up more creepypastas, and quite a few were scary. The worst one was arguably Gateway of the Mind, which for me was a gateway to the biggest mountain of depression. It opened up a whole new scope: religion. Is Jesus Christ real? Is God real? Has He forsaken me? Has he forgotten the whole world? Did he put me on this planet just to feel amused a my suffering? To be honest, I don't really want to know.

    The next wave of unsettlement came on about March 3, 2014. I watched this pretty cool video called Top 25 Terrifying Game Rooms, by the respectful and rightful Tats TopsVideos. Obviously I was way too retarded to understand "viewer discretion is advised", "disturbing content" etc. due to my horrible horrible urge for sadness. And as such I developed extreme ommetaphobia and couldn't look anyone in the eye for weeks.

    I don't find blood, murderm suicide and other similar subjects amusing - I just find it rather relieving to know there are also others too going through painful experiences apart from me, but I feel like complete ****. At least people actually like me.

    I think quite a lot of things happened as well, such as solipsism - the big one for a period of time, and quite recently another wave, this one mainly unknown, has come, but it may be because I am part Islam and was searching up things which were Halal and Haram, and that many of the things that I enjoy doing, probably even talking to you guys, was Haram, and that I deserve a place in ****. I mean, what even is up with life? I have considered being an Atheist, but one: this would deeply disappoint a lot of my family, and I surprisingly do have a lot of feelings for others, and tw:eek: what if there really is some god and I get punished for not believing?

    Thank you for taking precious time to read this; it really helps me knowing there are others out there who care. I'll also tell my parents sooner or later,
     
    Skeeny likes this.
  2. c3b4me

    c3b4me Remember when this place was once was something? Piston

    wow hope your ok man and yeah dont worry alot of people go through depression. one of my friends went through it once and the thing he said to me was " its not important to know that someone is with you, its important to know that someone is there for you" so remember I'm there for you your family is there for you and your friends are there for you. with atheism it doesn't always mean that you have to believe theirs no god for instances me and my friends decided to make a new religion that believes in doing the right thing for whatever reason that may be, weather its because you like doing the right thing or because you believe it will take you to the afterlife it doesn't matter, just do what you think is right for your own reasons. you really need to stop looking up scary things man it will make you feel a lot worse and i know this personally because i was starting to get a little depressed after being on SCP a lot so i stooped and started doing things that i enjoyed and things that make me feel good and you should do this to. i hope my support makes you feel better even, if its just a little bit.
     
    Skeeny likes this.
  3. Forlorn333

    Forlorn333 d3cornlorn999 TrackMill Pro TrackMill Pro

    Depressed people tend to avoid things that they know will make them feel better. Only advice I can give is get some sun, keep doing the things you love to do and know your family cares about you regardless. Not sure how old you are but you need to put in effort to enjoy life while it's easy.
     
  4. _Raptor_

    _Raptor_ Trackmill Staff Mechanic

    Nothing remotely helpful still.

    Infraction Received.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 1, 2014
  5. Download

    Download TrackMill Developer TrackMill Developer Developer

    It sounds to me like an anxiety disorder rather than depression, although I am not a doctor. Read this over and see if anything in here helps or is relatable?
     
  6. TTM

    TTM Retired Staff Retired Staff

    I have an anxiety disorder, this doesn't really connect to what I have. But we're all different, he could have it but feel a different way.

    @Muzik Bike, you should stop watching creepypastas and all of this stuff, they can mess with your mind. Don't over think things. From the sounds of it, looks like you need some time off of the internet.
     
  7. Muzik Bike :D

    Muzik Bike :D Coloraze World Champion(nobody cares) Engineer

    Favorite Game:
    Coloraze
    That would be pretty hard. Mabye I'll give it up for lent next year, but then that would conflict with ICT and other stuff
     
  8. c3b4me

    c3b4me Remember when this place was once was something? Piston

    couldn't you just give up certain sites?
     
  9. rotfl

    rotfl Your own guardian angel... With a fully loaded 44. Piston

    Yeah, like maybe these ones where you're getting these silly creepypastas from?
     
  10. Muzik Bike :D

    Muzik Bike :D Coloraze World Champion(nobody cares) Engineer

    Favorite Game:
    Coloraze
    I thing the word you're looking for is ABSOLUTELY FREAKING TERRIFYING HELP ME, but I'll try. Means I'll probably give up half of youtube though
     
  11. rotfl

    rotfl Your own guardian angel... With a fully loaded 44. Piston

    Well, I meant it in a way that it's silly that you would want to read such things
     
  12. Muzik Bike :D

    Muzik Bike :D Coloraze World Champion(nobody cares) Engineer

    Favorite Game:
    Coloraze
    Or that I'm silly.

    Thanks for advice everyone btw
     
  13. usermame 62

    usermame 62 My Body is Ready! Assembly Line Worker

    Are you serious?!


    Not trying to sound like an a$$hole, but this was really, really funny to read. A couple of videos and articles have caused you to become depressed, really?! I can relate in some ways but not in others; I have processed some pretty disturbing things too, but I haven't. Instead I try and use my coping mechanisms, which include: crying, playing video games and watching YouTube videos. Actually typing this response is making me feel better about something that happened on Friday.

    This statement: "I don't find blood, murder suicide and other similar subjects amusing" sounds like a lot of lies. It seems coherent to a large quantity of people you know that those things are amusing to you, but if you are being sincere about that, I suggest you let them know so you seem more 'humane' and 'approachable'. You do want to be involved with other people right? I want to clarify: I never said that you weren't depressed; I don't have enough evidence to support your case. I am a skeptic, meaning I need facts and evidence in order to believe something.

    You still could change your faith to Atheism, but just make it look believable that you're still [insert religions' here].

    To conclude: the reasons for this sound quite ludicrous, I don't really care. And before you ask, I was bored so I decided to post here! And there's no need to tell your parents, just copy, then paste your article on a word document and then print it off - they might think it's bull˚˚˚˚ though but you can only try.

    Thanks for reading,

    -Usermame 62 ;)
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2014
  14. Muzik Bike :D

    Muzik Bike :D Coloraze World Champion(nobody cares) Engineer

    Favorite Game:
    Coloraze
    Bump.

    Over the last while I've began to think considerably more positively. I have done similar things back in the start of 14, but they didn't last very long until my brain wanted to melt. These positivity moments are becoming gradually more common and as such I hope to get out of this brain-****. I mean, just because life has little meaning than to be born, to grow up, to ˚˚˚˚ with people, to die, and your kids do that same thing, doesn't mean you can't live your life to the fullest while you still have it. And if reincarnation's a thing? You may be born as something with a short life, but when you die, you'll be reborn into something better in a certain respect.
     
    Skeeny likes this.
  15. usermame 62

    usermame 62 My Body is Ready! Assembly Line Worker

    Please stop being an attention *****, online and offline!

    Edit: it's a complete coincidence that this was posted at 12:34pm.

    -Warning, this is serious business, this type of stuff is really not tolerated.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 7, 2014
  16. Muzik Bike :D

    Muzik Bike :D Coloraze World Champion(nobody cares) Engineer

    Favorite Game:
    Coloraze
    I am not being an attention where, and please stay on topic.
     
  17. _Raptor_

    _Raptor_ Trackmill Staff Mechanic

    It's good to hear that man, everyone deserves to be happy. :)
     
  18. rotfl

    rotfl Your own guardian angel... With a fully loaded 44. Piston

    Sometimes, I read your posts and want to hit my forehead of my desk a few times.

    Like, I seriously don't understand why you're such an ˚sshole to some people.
     
    Skeeny likes this.
  19. usermame 62

    usermame 62 My Body is Ready! Assembly Line Worker

    *off

    I'm making such comments because he does this so frequently, and I'm trying to get him to realise that he wants attention from people (though it's probably not going to help). I know that I could just leave Trackmill, but I like keeping in touch with my friend. I done this sort of thing a few months ago, except I didn't get in as much trouble; I self-harmed incase you were wondering. I was on the verge to becoming happier, however, hearing negative comments from my own friends is just annoying and doesn't make me feel good (that's like watching death over and over, and trying to feel better by doing it, it's not going to help). As if I'm going to help my friend become more popular - Jesus Christ, it's not my job to help you feel better, and it honestly doesn't ˚˚˚˚ing matter! I have my own problems, and they're not getting dealt with - I'm just keeping it in, thus, I'm not in the proper state to listen to other people's problems. So I'm mean because I'm surrounded by selfish pricks that want to make my life a living **** (this is why I sometimes wish for death to happen to people)!

    Is it all because I'm questioning God's existence? Or am I just in unfortunate circumstances? I just can't put my 'faith' into things as I'm a skeptic, meaning that I need facts and evidence to fully believe something. I'm also an agnostic so it's not as if I don't acknowledge God's existence at all. I just don't know if he's real.

    Thanks for reading,

    Usermame 62 ;)

    P.S. Hopefully you can understand why I'm such an '*******'.
     
  20. Muzik Bike :D

    Muzik Bike :D Coloraze World Champion(nobody cares) Engineer

    Favorite Game:
    Coloraze
    You are also sad. Therefore, you want me to strangle myself with my own spinal cord.
     

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